In my life I know about love and forgiveness and kindness and tenderness. Forgiveness really is the gift you give yourself. I have done it and have been all the better for it. I have asked for it and have been all the better for asking. I do know that love is love, even when it is placed upon the undeserving. Aren't we all undeserving?...except children and babies. We make messes of our lives. We play games...We lie...We are cowardly about what's on our hearts. We let our worst fears drive us in our relationships. Our neediness grips us like a vice and we act from a place of fear rather than a place of love. We all do it. We all have done it.
I am convinced that anything can be forgiven. It depends on how long you want to wallow in mess. It depends on your readiness to move forward. It depends on your capacity to love fully. Some folks you have to walk away from. You got what you needed and their part in your story is done. Sometimes their part caused you a great deal of heartache. It may have turned your life upside down. They may have let you down when you needed them the most. Whatever the grievance, pain, hurt, offense. You have to decide how long you want to bear it. How long you want to wear it...live with it. So you see I am not mad at Mrs. Edwards. We all have to stand in our own lives and look in our closets. There are some I am sure would say to me you should have done.... or why did you do.... All I know is I have an amazing capacity for love. That I have forgave and been forgiven.
My favorite line I ever heard was from the play A Raisin In The Sun. Walter Lee finds out that the guy he gave the insurance money for the liquor store ran off with all the money. Walter's Sister Beneatha is devastated, she goes on to say he is not worth loving. The Mother delivers this line and it stops me cold every time!
“There is always something left to love. And if you ain’t learned that, you ain’t learned nothing….Have you cried for that boy today? I don’t mean for yourself and for the family ‘cause we lost the money. I mean for him; what he been through and what it done to him. Child, when do you think it is the time to love somebody the most; when they done good and made things easy for everybody? Well then, you ain’t through learnin’….”
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WITH PRINCESS DOMINIQUE